In my cage.

There are days,
brighter, mightier and full of will,
but what's my pain's mightier than the brain,
I ask, "Will my prince come for me?"

Liberation is for the weak,
the songs of past and derailment of the heart,
because in my cage,
there's space, air and I in between.

Seeking truth,
seeking peace,
seeking hope
with dreams of age.

In my cage,
I'll find me,
and in the end,
I'll be free.

I am held by a past,
screaming for the love of pain,
and the pleasure of the bleeding,
Be still my soul, there shall become a better day.

My only one.

There have been times I couldn’t bear,

And feelings so rare,

Sometimes it’s not about the heartbeat but the skipping of it,

Not about your gorgeous smile but the only love I see.

Twice or thrice I may have been Cinderella,

Now your dancing Bella,

Because of your love despite the torn collars and fading cedars,

You are my home, my delightful rest my only quest.

I wouldn’t put a number on you,

I’ll give you all my love,

All my troubles and irritations,

I’ll let you see through the fake smiles and genuine cries,

I’ll build up the torn pieces for you and make an everlasting fortress.

You’re my only one,

Brighter than the beautiful moonlight,

Fairer than any blooming flower,

Enchanting than any magic.

For you are not my number one but my only one.

#chroniclesofadeadpoet 

Love and pain.

ROSES AND THORNS.

I pricked on love,

Bled in passion and crimson bond,

Walked the thorny affection,

And felt the heaven’s call.

I fell and loved,

Got mad and yelled,

But I did not waver,

I let me feel.

Because love so true,

Is a reflection of crimson roses,

Beautiful and enchanting,

Yet with thorns so sharp, so real, so edgy.

I pricked on love,

I let me feel,

Because what’s love,

If it’s not real?

No more campus murders.

I SHALL NOT KILL FOR ATIENO.
I shall not kill for Atieno,
despite her silky skin and fairy laughter,
Even if her very body is Vera's nightmare,
Her lips the sweetest wine,
And her eyes; the epitome of beauty.

No, I shall not kill for Atieno, my campus flame,
Because everyone deserves love; pure and true,
And as said God, it's patient and kind,
It neither thrives in blood patched kitchen knives,
Nor maddening screams.

Atieno, you are my love and light,
The very core of my wanting existence,
The one being whose presence delights my own,
But Atieno if you pick another and neglect me,
I will not unleash World War 3,
I will not kill for you,
I will not die for you.

For there are a million damsels,
Maybe not as elegant but at least true,
For you Atieno there will always be a scar,
But never a haunting grave.
I'll fight for your love but will not kill for it.

Atieno, I will NOT kill for you.
#stopcampusmurders #chroniclesofadeadpoet #loveroverdeath #wealldeservetolive
#chroniclesofadeadpoet

You're worth a million bucks.

I fell in love. Handsome lad, tall and definitely the one you'd drop your cone staring at. The kind of guy whose abs made me finally hit the gym. Whose charms made me stammer a couple of times. I didn't mind. Waiting in the cold, empty promises and definitely the lonely dates. He was cool and that's definitely all that mattered at the time. He made me tear my jeans and expose my belly button. I wore more make up and  arranged hair. I thought 'he makes me feel beautiful' what I didn't comprehend at the time was the fact that I was actually compromising my own happiness.

You see ladies, every time a man minds more about exposing your belly button than your smile, you've got to ask questions, raise eyebrows, well damn raise the damn roof over his head. One stale relationship that's fine we all meet jerks at some point; it's the female nature. The second one well okay my bad, but the third and so on girl wake up and smell the coffee!

You definitely dictate who you want in your life. Yes, they might have walked in right through the door into your life way past the Sahara desert to bring you the fountain of River Nile. But if he's going to treat you like the garbage everyone's dumping into the line, he has to go. Remember, just like he walked in, you can throw him out. If he walked in through the door, throw him out through the window.

Ladies, you are worth more than you'll ever know. Worth more than the marks on your skin, the crankiness of your laughter and the sores of your pain. If there's any person out there making you perceive the evil concept that you can't, don't let them. Love yourself, sometimes be a little selfish, do not let manipulative guy have their way. Laugh till your ribs hurt and just as you fall in love with you some worth it guy will do too. You are beautiful and worth more than a million bucks. Do not accept anything less. :-)

Lost Hope.

Of wretched dreams and wringing desires...

I hope the morning sun still makes you smile,

And that your laughter still makes a breeze on the tingling grass,

I hope that the music in the west makes you dance,

And the moonlight exhilarates your pores,

Maria I hope you’re happy.

I hope life has not been a cruel mother in law, but a loving father,

That you learnt the horizon is not too far neither the sky too high,

That you can be sweet at heart but tough in the head,

And that nothing is worth those silver droplets.

Maria, I hope you finally comprehended the your beauty,

And understood your blessed frame work,

I hope you adapted to love without limits, to dream, to hope.

That wherever you may be you still are,

I hope you are brave, bold and strong.

Above all my angel,

I hope you forgive me.

Heart for hire.

So love's not a game for two anymore,
And where the mind strays so does the heart prevail,
If all was in vain,
From the kisses, the texts to the walks in the rain,
Look into my eyes and let me know it's worth the pain.

My father once told me,
'son a woman ain't meant to be loved '
I thought twas just the good old grace,
Now I realise that two is just a number,
Very divisible,too bad if the one can't carry on.

Again I'm on display,
But this time it's a different kind of emotion,
Not to love, not to care,
Mine's just a heart for hire.

21 Questions.

Why? What? When? Where? Who? How?
These ran perfectly in her mind as the facade had to run off. Beautiful shades of scarlet. Almost blinding, well life has never been easy, never was, never will be. Seems like this had become a rhythm of some sort too bad she didn't have her dancing shoes.

There were voices in her head. some saying Yes others screaming quite the opposite. making a choice isn't something she was accustomed to. Sometimes it felt really bad, it drove her crazy mad. you know the kind of crazy that makes one feel the urge to meet God. Like would it be easier to pull the trigger, or stab her belly numb. Oh! How about the razor cuts. Well she had contemplated many, but of the twenty one options she had tried fifteen and they were all dead ends.

They called her Princess. Her beautiful smile and perfect frames of womanhood made all the girls jealous, Just a minute, behind the closed doors, who was princess? An embodiment of beauty, scarred with mental distress and emotional pain. What's the point of happiness when all she had were fake smiles?

well loneliness does kill, good thing this time she actually had the guts to pull the trigger. Damn the scarlet. 21 questions were finally quietly silenced. 

Scarred Petals..

So what's beauty without life?
Stale memories void of joy,
Just what's that feeling of emptiness?
That hole in our hearts that doesn't cease to deepen?

We don't say goodbye to tattooed memories,
To love unending,
To  a life well lived,
To an angel stuck in between.

The beauty of being human is that we all hurt,
So I'm here trying to fit in the black patterns,
Soothing snorts to hide the pain,
A perfect mass of dumb hurt.

Ma,
Unbreak my heart, uncry my tears,
Make this pain cease and the hurt halt,
If I had a wish,
I'd give you a thousand lives,
A perfect dose of happiness
And all the health in the world.
But I'll give you roses,
Because that's all you can take now.

They say you don't know what you've got till it's gone,
Sure lacking has made me understand what it meant to have,
So as I watch the rain drip on your grave,
I believe memories don't fade,
And love, love is a gift you so much gave.

Till we meet again,
I believe there's more to all this,
Than just the scattered scarred petals.


For Alphonsina. RIP.
#chroniclesofadeadpoet

Perfect Love..

Hold up..this isn't about the crazy overrated fairytales of perfectly manicured princesses and proper gentlemen. No, this isn't about chocolate and flowers or of girls who can cook, clean and still do you good. Nop this is about love.

For months I wore make up and paid extra attention to how I walk and dress with hope that Mr.  Right would bump into me.  Obviously I didn't want to ruin the first expression moment.  Well, as life turns out to be awfully unfair I met him all rained on, shivering like a lost duckling,  sticky clothes and miserable ( it was totally awful) hair. Trust me it didn't end there.

Anyways just what is perfect love? Love without flaws without blemish. You know the kind of Boris and Nicole kinda couple. Ladies, snap out of this! For goodness sake those Mexican soap operas are just hopeless plots! Trust me if you're waiting on your poor man to buy you flowers, serenade you every five minutes, remember just how you like your coffee blah blah blah sister Jesus is coming soon, He's the man for you!
Okay, I'm not saying that you should accept a sissy as a man. No. Just let your man be a man. Honey, there's no perfect love. Love is the perfect weaving of two imperfect people who perfectly know each other's flawlessness and still see them as perfectly beautiful 😊  You can read that again ma'am.

You see, at the start of many relationships we tend to be blinded by so many things that we actually assume our partner's shortcomings. As the relationship grows deeper the flaws becomes all over sudden magnified. Like thoroughly zoomed out. Now here's where the real test of love sets in. Sweetie he was all funny and cute till you realise he actually has smelly feet you can't just assume anymore. Or hey she was this sex goddess and now she can't even wash her own face.

Then it reaches a point where you get to realise whether you were in love, obsessed, infatuated or plainly lustful. They all kinda wear off. And when you truly love someone you just don't dash out the door because suddenly you realised they ain't as good as you thought they were. You embrace them..darling I'm not saying you go suck those smelly toes..ahah I'd rather die😉  what I mean is you help that person get over it. Like hey hun why not get home remedies for smelly feet. Change your sock brand. Something like that.

I'd like to sugar coat this but perfect love does NOT exist. Oh please we all know unless he's in diapers; you can't change a man. But who wants a change man when we can just create a better version of him??? So dear sisters quit looking for the perfect guy! ( Unless it's the movie of course!) Before you let anyone love you, love yourself. Only then will you realise how much of a kinky bi*** you are to handle. It's 10 times worse for your man.

Don't forget, love is imperfect, full of flaws. We all know a happy woman is either bisexual or cheating. We'll whine and do all that because we love you! Look into your partner's eyes and forget the damn smelly feet for Christ's sake! It's your life..your relationship..your man. Make him YOURS!

As my nigga John legend sung ' love your curves and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections '

So sweethearts just as he ain't perfect, you ain't too. Sit down and love that gracious mess that's your man. It's worth every bit.😊

Between our love..

Tell me love,
Between you and I,
Between these two racing hearts,
Between the long stares and tattooed memories,
What lies between our love?

We cried and laughed,a little giggle in between,
We fought and made up,
We scream yet whisper love quotes,
But in between,lies just us,
Between our love,
There's you and I.

When the world stops spinning,
And hearts stop beating,
When I can't touch you anymore,
And you can't feel the joy in my laughter,
Don't ever forget one thing,
Between our love,
We lay still.

Untouched,unreachable even dead,
I'll try to remember your smile,
And hope you'll do mine,
Because between our love,
I feel nothing,
I see nothing,
I am nothing.

Between our love is there hope for a future?
Do you trust me enough to let me see,
Is there truth?
I want to know beyond us,
What lies between us,
Between our love,
Is there love?

For my Mulaimu.
#chroniclesofadeadpoet.

Red dotted pain.

While the pastor promised of all my scarlets kinda bleached to white,
You constantly turn my sheets deathly red,
Well all that's crimson ain't a sin,
But with you I can murder to halt the pain.

If I could erase your memory,
I'd make you skip the monthly scare,
And totally forget you were here,
And if only you were human,
I'd let the devil take your breathe away.

One plus one may equal two,
But with you around we'll just remain as odd,
As I toss and turn all night,
Curse and bless you I just might,
As they say; the beauty of a butterfly,
Is in it's freedom.

I try to embrace the beauty in you Red dotted pain,
The edge in my womanhood terrain.

 

Loner Diaries.

The patterns  on the sand,
May have been blown away.
The photos in twos,
All choked up in flames.
But tell me,
How do I make these emotions fade too?

Once upon a time,
There was you and I,
But the letters in between got their better share,
 I stagger home all alone,
Holding on to the bitter sweet memories,
Of a different tale when you were here.
All shadows tow in twos,
While mine reluctantly thrives in solitude,
The echoes still fresh in my mind,
Same voice,same girl,
I hope tomorrow brings less sorrow.

My Cinderella ran away,
I was not sober enough to do the chase thing,
But I do hope his cuddle keeps you as warm,
I closed my eyes to the unfortunate vision,
And held on to the glass slipper,
Hoping one day you'll need this shoe,
That once more I'll have you to me.

What's felt and what's seen are unparalleled emotions,
Things were perfect yesterday,
But they all lace the nightmare I have to live today.

I hope God made another to love me,
And I hope it won't hurt too.

the long texts ,IMs, emails.
 The dates, long night sexy calls....
 Flirty hours ,
 amazing smiles...
 they say new love is strong,
 but will It last for long???
 I have no idea love depreciates..
 or how we just lose it..
 things that used to matter, don't matter no more.
 sweetheart ,honey, darling..
 no longer appropriate ..
 more fights..
 lots of make up sex..
 but we both know. we're losing it. ..
 late night texts
 late night drinking sprees..
 Flirty hours,
 cheating spouses.
 holding On to the past when the present doesn't exist..
 the future a mirage!
 love turn sour...
 amazing smiles,
 teary lonely nights...
 betrayed trust.
 lost love.
 should we walk away?
 should we give it one last shot?
 can we learn to love again????

No honey, not tonight.

I saw the texts alright,
And the lipstick stains on your shirt,
The deceiving scent of another woman,
Not forgetting the lodging receipt,
The smirk on your face expecting a cuddle?
No honey, not tonight.

I have a whole lot on my desk,
The project's due tomorrow noon,
My boss needs this report ASAP,
Baby, you know I have to put food on the table,
You have to understand,
No honey, not tonight.

It's that time of the month,
I feel crappy inside out,
Don't touch me,
Don't kiss me,
Don't even think about it.
No honey, not tonight.

I have my finals in a week,
You know how bad I need this,
Love, I'll make it up to you the week after,
It's for our future,
No honey, not tonight.

No honey,
You are going to turn right back,
Because tonight is my night,
Halt all your excuses please,
And get my conjugal rights RIGHT!

Please love me..

I looked into the mirror,
Stared right through the scars,
Both the seen and unseen,
Once more the memories flood,
Each time it hurt,
Each time I pleaded.
I love you, you know.
Please teach me not to hurt,
Show me how not to cry,
Caress my pains just a little,
And tell me tales of love,
Love's that pure and content.
The more I stare,the less I see,
Less of me and more of you,
The ghost behind me, inside me,all over me, actually me.
The one thing I can't flee from,
Yearning for your embrace only results in the sting of your slap,
But I love you.
I had chances to scream,
To run and hide,
But every time it went in me,
I could only scream ' I love you '
With every stab I could only plead ' please love me'.
In a hundred realities,
And a thousand fantasies,
I'd find you and I'd choose you,
I know it's a suicide mission,
But I do hope, just like Jesus,
Mine will free love from thee.
Mirror on the wall,
Am I the fairest of his all?
Each time I felt pain,
Each time I cried,
I let you abuse me because I love you.
Please, please love me back.
I love you.

Lucia

The stars in her eyes,
Or is it the little pretty dimple by her smile,
So in love was she,
Swaying down the road,
Singing love melodies.
Of him and her,
Though hearts so far,
He said he couldn't stay
That he had to go far far away.
But no! Love doesn't know distance,
Because no miles can kill romance,
All alone in the woods,
With no one to eat her delicious foods.
Little pretty Lucia,the lonely bride,
Loneliness that would never overcome her pride,
She did wed in shame,
To a lad without a name.
The say love is blind,
But in it she found sight,
For she believed in Lucas,
The man behind her emotional fracas.

Your love.

Even when days were too grey,
And happiness was just a word,
When hope left such a void in my being,
Your love found me.
Times when anger and pretense filled me,
When nothing made sense,
The voice in my head constantly threatening,
Your love held me.
In the darkest paths,
In the strangest way,
One emotion drew images of brighter days,
Your love taught me how to,when to and why  to.
Lost in a maze,
It lit my way back,
Dug me out of hopelessness' pit,
With a thousand reasons not to fight,
Just one taught me what was right,
When doubt rose within me,
It drew out reason.
Love, you so freely gave to me.

Virginia the Virgin

There came a time,
In the land of whores and woes,
The need of a warrior,
Soldier of some sort arose,
And she was born,
Virginia the Virgin!
To be the very epitome of beauty and purity,
She had to be the one,
Though born under conditions not so legitimate,
Without a surname,
Virginia just had to be the ultimate hero.
No matter how many corners there are in life,
The planet isn't square neither rectangular,
And as fate and destiny always have their way,
Virginia the virgin
Became human

Kill me quick

' KILL ME QUICK '

There might be a thousand ways to die,
and only one way to live,
For some it's just a confusion in between,
But for one Mr. Ken,
There was always the 'Kill me quick ' option.

In a rugged hut,
The filthiest of all places in the town,
He walks in with a full wallet
And leaves empty of his earthly sorrows.

Kill me quick,
Kill me happy,
Kill me swift,
Kill me now,
Drunken chats he'd mutter,
After a pints that were never odd in number,
( there's always that +1)
He saw heaven much more nearer.

It didn't matter whether it was Monday or Sunday,
After all they were just days,
Man must live or die..
Ken survived half the times.

Then came Friday then 13th,
Let's just say Cliché became niche,
On the worn out stool,
Just like that,
Kill me quick,
Actually killed in a flash.